PRIDE Training Day #2

The only word I can think of to describe our PRIDE training yesterday would be 'heavy'. It was a long day of some difficult topics that left both of us a little drained and in some ways discouraged. We know that adopting a child comes with many challenges but we came out of the class yesterday feeling like all of the knowledge we have gained over the past two years while raising our daughter will be useless. Of course we know that this is not true but it doesn't change how we were feeling at the end of the day.
The three main topics that were covered yesterday were human development, attachment, and loss. A guest speaker arrived in the morning to talk more about child development, specifically speech. She is a Speech Language Pathologist and she talked about the services that are available to any child with delays in development. We know that our little boy will have some degree of a cleft lip or palate and she touched on the process that we will likely need to go through in order for him to receive speech therapy.
After lunch we watched a video that made us both very emotional. It featured a young girl and her baby brother and their journey through the foster care system. I found it very difficult to watch a video portraying the horrible things that some children witness and experience in their lives when their parents aren't able to take care of them and when the foster care system fails them. I ended up leaving the room as I could not watch any more. Chris stayed to watch the end of the video so that once I returned he could tell me that the story ended well. It left both of us feeling scared, helpless, and very sad. No child should have to go through something like that and it made us realize that there are very real problems and complications that come with adoption no matter what process you go through. We have always been so focused on our international adoption that we sometimes fail to see the problems that are happening right here. It made us think about being foster parents in the future once our children are older (this is something we have talked about before) and it created some really good conversations between us on our drive home.
As I said in my last post, there is one other family in our training group who have a child already. They asked our leader that has one biological child and three internationally adopted children for recommendations on integrating siblings in the adoption process. This ended up being another topic that we talked about a lot on our drive home (good thing we have an hour and a half drive, gives us lots of time to talk). One thing she recommended is that one really good way to include your child is to bring them with you when you go and get your adopted child, especially if it is an international adoption. This is something that we have always struggled with as we weren't really sure what was the best thing to do. So as crazy as it may sound, we have decided that Maeve will travel with us to China so that she can meet her little brother at the same time we are meeting him. That way she will feel completely involved in the entire process and we can start to connect as a family immediately. So now comes the fun part of teaching a 2 year old that she has a younger brother that lives in another country. And that we will someday travel on a very long plane ride to pick him up so that he can be in our family forever. I think its time to hit the children's section of our local bookstore.....

PRIDE Training Day #1

Yesterday was our first day of PRIDE (Parent Resources for Information, Development and Education) training. PRIDE training is a mandatory training course for anyone who plans to adopt in Ontario.
We didn't really know what to expect when we arrived in Burlington at 9 am yesterday but we were both excited to get the process started. Our training session was lead by to co-leaders. One is an adoption professional and the other is an experienced adoptive parent. There were 9 other couples in the session with us. We introduced ourselves and our reasons for choosing adoption fairly early on in the morning. That is when we felt much more at ease. Although most of the people in the room have chose adoption because they cannot have children on their own, we still felt some comfort knowing that most of the people in the room are likely going through the same things we are and are probably feeling the same as well. It was hard to listen to people who have struggled with infertility share their stories. It made me feel bad at times because our reasons for adopting are so different. It's hard to explain what I mean but because our story of adoption has always been a happy one I found it hard to listen to couples that have tried for years to have children and have now turned to adoption because some of them have no other choice. It doesn't make any one's reason for adoption any better or worse it just makes our journeys a bit different. We didn't discuss what types of adoption the other couples were pursuing (whether private or international etc) because some of the people attending are still not sure what they want to do and the sessions are designed to help people make an informed decision. We do know that the couple that was sitting with us also have a daughter and are adopting internationally. Although our stories are a bit different it was nice to know that someone else in the room is just as focused on the international adoption information as we are.
The information we received yesterday was more of an overview of the different types of adoption and the processes and laws surrounding the process. Some of the information was relevant and some was not but overall we felt that the session was helpful and we weren't dreading coming back for the next 3 weekends. I am personally looking forward to the next session because we will be talking about attachment and loss issues in adoption. These are issues that come with any adoption whether international or not so it should be very interesting.
I will try to keep everyone posted as we proceed through our training. For those of you who are following us please let me know if you received an email when I updated the blog.

Follow Us

I have added something new to the Blog that I know will make some of you very happy. Below, on the right hand side of the page you will see "Follow by Email". If you type your email address in the box and then press submit...Presto.... you will be following our blog. That way you shouldn't have to worry about missing a post.
Thank you in advance for all of those who follow our journey.

Congratulations?!

Recently a few of our friends pointed out that the child we will be adopting has likely been born by now. To be honest, I hadn't thought about it in that way (at least not recently) as I have been so caught up in paperwork and upcoming training.

Somewhere in China a little boy has been born and has likely been given up for adoption already. It is so sad to think that we wont even get to meet him until he is over a year old. That is something that I am sure will make this process very hard to understand sometimes. I am also hoping that having this in mind will keep us motivated and strong throughout the endless paperwork and bills while we wait to be approved as parents for this little boy.
Being prospective adoptive parents is very different than going through the journey of getting pregnant and having your own baby for many obvious reasons. I think about this fact often. How if this was our birth child we would have received dozens of cards from family and friends congratulating us on baby #2. People would be asking  "how are you feeling" each day as my belly grew larger. (Not that I miss that, as most of you know I did not enjoy pregnancy, although it was completely worth the end result!) Having a child somewhere across the world feels so different. Some days it is exciting to think about, other days overwhelming, and some days it is just sad. I am not saying this so that more people ask how we are doing, or ask where we are in the process. People are doing that all the time and it is wonderful. It is just an observation that I have had. Something that weighs on my mind now and then.

Update: Last month Chris and I registered for PRIDE (Parent Resources for Information Development and Education)Training. PRIDE Training is essentially a prep course for adoptive parents. For more information please click on this link: http://secure.adoptontario.ca/mobile/pride.main.aspx#&ui-state=dialog
Our training takes place over 4 weekends in Burlington, Ontario in May and June. One full day each weekend (9 am - 5 pm).
Once our PRIDE Training is complete we will start to work with our Adoption Practitioner (approximately July). I promise I will provide an update before then.

Somewhere Between

Last night as I was flipping through the TV channels I noticed a documentary on TVO called 'Somewhere Between'. I think it was luck, or fate that I stumbled upon this movie just as it was starting. The film starts off by showing a family that has recently adopted from China. The mother in the film is talking about all of the questions that her adopted daughter will someday have and she reflects upon the fact that she may not know all of the answers. From there the mother turns into the filmmaker stating that she is making this film for her daughter so that someday she can watch this and have some answers to her questions.
The uniqueness of this film is that instead of following the parents who have adopted the child from China, it follows the lives of four teenage girls who were adopted from China. I found the film very moving and eye opening from a prospective adoptive parents point of view. Although the film takes place in the U.S I thought the issues the girls experienced were globally relatable.

I would recommend watching this film to anyone that has questions about our adoption. It may clarify a few things for you or it may bring up more questions or concerns.
Watch for it on TVO or search for it to tape on you PVRs. I think I might even download it on iTunes to show to our families. It is just too good not to share.

Here is a link to the website for movie if you are looking for more information. http://www.somewherebetweenmovie.com/directors-statement

Happy New Year....again!

I know that people have been anxiously awaiting a new post from us. This will just be a quick one as our family is getting caught up on everyday life after my daughter and I took a quick trip to Florida. While I was away Children's Bridge sent us a waiver and request for first payment for our adoption. My husband and I haven't even had a chance to look at it. This could be because we are too busy, or it could be because we are afraid to see how much money we already owe.

Tomorrow, February 19, 2015 is the first day of the 2015 Chinese New Year. 2015 is the year of the Sheep. In China sheep are considered lucky animals. Hopefully this Chinese year will bring our family luck in our adoption process. I look forward to learning more about Chinese traditions and celebrating this day in the future with our family.

Happy New Year everyone.

Thank you!

Yesterday was the big day, the day that we finally sent out our blog link to our family and friends.
The response has been overwhelming! So many people took the time to write back to us and send us well wishes for our journey. The encouraging words brought more than a few tears to my eyes. Thank you everyone for being so supportive, it is nice to know that we will have family and friends cheering us on throughout this process.